it itches right this second
My beard gets very itchy when it starts getting a little long. Not such a big deal since I own several electric clippers and go to a pretty fancy hair salon every 5-6 weeks or so. But if I ever became your basic street bum, what would I do about my itchy beard? Would I want to squander my precious pan-handling funds on a pair of scissors? Would I be able to find some benevolent barber who would let me in his chair after closing? Or would I just walk around with an itchy, flaking beard, rubbing it up against buildings and parked cars?
My beard is itchy right now, but I am too lazy to do anything about it. Does this mean I am on my way to becoming a street bum?
These are the types of questions that keep me awake at night when my beard itches.
My beard is itchy right now, but I am too lazy to do anything about it. Does this mean I am on my way to becoming a street bum?
These are the types of questions that keep me awake at night when my beard itches.
posted by sparklestone at 11:17 PM
12 Comments:
Considering Miss Kate's opinion of your blog of late, I'd say street bum is creeping up on you.
Honey, I have to admit that Sylow is right -- your blogging and commenting of late indicate that you may be a little distracted.
I don't wanna tell you what to do or anything, but you might consider turning off your computer occasionally....
I will not stand down! Distracted only in seeming. These are all just pieces in a much larger puzzle.
i will have to agree (sorry) that this blog has been switching between the ridiculous and the sublime on an almost daily basis.
i would also suggest that if you let your beard keep growing the itchiness will subside. this accounts for the fact that you never see anyone with a sign reading "will work for beard trimmers"
j
j, I think you're off your rocker. I've seen Sparkelstone's face after letting his beard get out of hand (we were very close for a time). Suffice it to say, humidity is not kind to poor Sparky. No amount of time or beard length will erase the inevitable flaky nature of his face.
The flakiness of his blog is another matter.
I used to want to be a hobo & ride boxcars around the country. An itchy beard would guarantee a spot in the hobo heirarchy.
The Crackhead is right, an itchy beard will guarantee a place in the hobo hierarchy and I suspect the same for the street bum heirarchy. However, these are not the things that a wife wants to consider for her husband.
To truly take your place in the hobo/bum social structure, you'd have to develop an unpleasant yet distintive odour, which I suspect wives would also not approve of.
Well, not to give the wrong impression of Miss Kate, but if distinctive odors were an issue I think she would have thrown someone out of the house a long time ago.
Or at least tried to lose him on a very long W.
How did we get from slamming my blog to maligning my bouquet?
From now on, everything you get out of me will be non-distracted, non-ridiculous, sublime, non-flaky and sweet smelling.
Oh Sparkle! I'm pretty sure that Sylow was maligning your DOG'S bouquet, not your own! There are limits here!
Damn! You're right!
OK, then. Revision. Non-distracted, non-ridiculous, sublime, and non-flaky.
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