book of the day club
So, we have a dog. He is six. From seven weeks to about three years old he was very, very bad. He ate my favorite Doc Marten's, my humidor with a bunch of pricey cigars, several of Miss Kate's boots, a bed, a futon mattress and frame, several carpets and an apartment.
But then at around three, he got good. Many people told us that if you can get through the first few years without killing a black lab, you will hit paydirt.
We recently bought bookshelves and our books that have been in storage forever finally are out in the world. In the last week, we have come home every afternoon to find shredded books.
All the books shredded were out of my library of biblical/Judaic studies. They have included Even Shoshan's Konkordantsyah hadashah le-Torah, Nevim, u-Khetuvim, Jastrow's A Dictionary of the Targumim, Talmud Bavli, Talmud Yerushalmi and Midrashic Literature , a Soncino Chumash, Charles' The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament in English (vol.1), and Harkavy's Complete English-Jewish Dictionary.
Some people would say he chooses these books an account of their age and smell. If it were a dream, a Jungian would say I was feeling guilty about wasting my two master's degrees.
Thank god it isn't a dream and I'm not a Jungian.
But then at around three, he got good. Many people told us that if you can get through the first few years without killing a black lab, you will hit paydirt.
We recently bought bookshelves and our books that have been in storage forever finally are out in the world. In the last week, we have come home every afternoon to find shredded books.
All the books shredded were out of my library of biblical/Judaic studies. They have included Even Shoshan's Konkordantsyah hadashah le-Torah, Nevim, u-Khetuvim, Jastrow's A Dictionary of the Targumim, Talmud Bavli, Talmud Yerushalmi and Midrashic Literature , a Soncino Chumash, Charles' The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament in English (vol.1), and Harkavy's Complete English-Jewish Dictionary.
Some people would say he chooses these books an account of their age and smell. If it were a dream, a Jungian would say I was feeling guilty about wasting my two master's degrees.
Thank god it isn't a dream and I'm not a Jungian.
posted by sparklestone at 2:10 PM
5 Comments:
Maybe you should stop spreading peanut butter on all of your books.
But we put peanut butter on all of Miss Kate's books too. Why does he only eat mine?
Don't you wish pets could speak english and tell you what the hell they are trying to say with their annoying and destructive behaviour?
He could tell you if he was voicing his displeasure at your leaving him by himself whilst you work, announcing that he'd done some reading and wanted to have a conversation about comparitive relgion and it's impact on modern society, or that his butt was really itchy but in a spot he can't easily reach, and would you please please PLEASE scratch it just a little bit.
But all he can do is chew crap up and look at you with that "I don't know how much clearer I can make this you stupid human" look.
For a more in depth study on talking pets, see this treatise.
Actually, when I come in, kneel down over one of my beloved books trying to discover which one it was, the little turd looks at me with a "please don't kill me" look.
He knows he deserves death.
After the first few books I was at the end of my rope. One day we came home and found several books destroyed. Miss Kate was planning on going to the store and I told her to take the dog. She said she didn't want to so I said then I was going and the dog was staying. I knew time and distance was integral to that animal's survival.
While I was gone I realized I missed greeting my dog properly more than I missed the books. When I walked in I got down on the ground to show him I wasn't mad anymore and it was if he hadn't seen me in weeks.
Books are replaceable. Well, some of the ones he ate aren't, the little shit.
next time you need a break you put Sammy on a plane to come see his uncle. He can stay with me a while and entertain my niece and nephews.
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