state of apathy
I've been to 43 of our united states. There are several that I have been to that I don't feel I ever need to return, but I'd really like to visit the remaining seven. Except Minnesota. I have nothing against it. In fact some close friends took a Minnesotan camping excursion and returned with great reviews. Still I remain Minnesotally indifferent.
For perspective, I also haven't been to Idaho. I don't know if it is predetermined genetics or socially learned, but internally I feel that I would have a much better time in Idaho than in Minnesota.
I once knew some Minnesotites. I don't feel my life would be any different had I never met them. If they didn't walk into my life that day in a bar in Hammond, Louisiana I would still be sitting right here this morning typing this. I am Minnesota-proof.
How impervious am I to Minnesotishness? Could I kill Minnesotians? No. My internal moral code overrides my Minnesotal apathy.
"Sure," you may say, "but did you know that sportscaster John Madden and actress Winona Ryder are examples of our most Minnesotist celebrities?" I did not. But I believe it because both stir nary an emotion within my soul. Could I kill them. No. I could not kill either John Madden or Winona Ryder.
Someone may throw out the wildcard. Bob Dylan. "You can't get more Minnesoterer than Bobby Dylan," you would posit. My response is this: Robert Zimmerman was born in Minnesota. Bob Dylan was born on his journey across our great nation.
As I attempt to bring this to a close my internal moral code tells me I should apologize to any Minnesoters that may read this...but my other condition tells me this is entirely unnecessary. Please wait while the struggle ensues. It is finished. I am neither proud nor ashamed to say that Minnesotees now find themselves officially snubbed. It means nothing to me.
For perspective, I also haven't been to Idaho. I don't know if it is predetermined genetics or socially learned, but internally I feel that I would have a much better time in Idaho than in Minnesota.
I once knew some Minnesotites. I don't feel my life would be any different had I never met them. If they didn't walk into my life that day in a bar in Hammond, Louisiana I would still be sitting right here this morning typing this. I am Minnesota-proof.
How impervious am I to Minnesotishness? Could I kill Minnesotians? No. My internal moral code overrides my Minnesotal apathy.
"Sure," you may say, "but did you know that sportscaster John Madden and actress Winona Ryder are examples of our most Minnesotist celebrities?" I did not. But I believe it because both stir nary an emotion within my soul. Could I kill them. No. I could not kill either John Madden or Winona Ryder.
Someone may throw out the wildcard. Bob Dylan. "You can't get more Minnesoterer than Bobby Dylan," you would posit. My response is this: Robert Zimmerman was born in Minnesota. Bob Dylan was born on his journey across our great nation.
As I attempt to bring this to a close my internal moral code tells me I should apologize to any Minnesoters that may read this...but my other condition tells me this is entirely unnecessary. Please wait while the struggle ensues. It is finished. I am neither proud nor ashamed to say that Minnesotees now find themselves officially snubbed. It means nothing to me.
posted by sparklestone at 7:18 AM
4 Comments:
You won't regret going to Idaho. That is, unless you talk to anyone there. I know a lot of great Idahoans who would definitely have an impact on you. Unfortunately, that caliber of Idahoan no longer lives in Idaho. Too many fuck-wads.
I find it interesting that you have such disdain for a place you have never been. I suppose you hate all food you have never eaten or all people you have never met. What shallowness this entry of yours discloses. How ironic that something which has no meaning to you seems to cause you such conflict. As with so many of your attempts at being better, smarter and more enlightened, I cannot help but feel pitty for you. I hope that you don't decide people who bathe are some how insubordinate. Please help us if you go clothing optional someday.9
9, these are strong, and possibly warranted comments. All I can say in reply is that I have never been hit in the back of the head with a shovel, but I am fairly certain I wouldn't enjoy it.
the part of Minnesota in the above analogy is played by a shovel
I like a man who knows what he likes and who knows where he don't wanna go.
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