in the beginning...
Sylow, Miss Kate and I went to grad school together and we were all in a class which met early Saturday morning. The class was somewhat cutting edge in the realm of distance learning. Compressed video feeds out to six or so satellite classes. Each class room had a screen that automatically would switch the picture to a satellite room if someone there was talking. Our classroom was the home base and we had a camera which was always turned to the professor's podium and that was what everyone always saw unless someone was speaking in one of the the satellites.
During break, Miss Kate used to run out and smoke these little strawberry bidi cigarettes and she often came back late. One morning our professor was out visiting one of the satellite sites but our camera was still pointed toward the podium. During the break, before Miss Kate got back, Sylow and I turned the camera so that it was pointed and zoomed on Miss Kate's chair. When she finally sat down, she looked up at the screen and saw her own, bigger than life, sneakin' herself into class late, ass. Sylow and I were in tears. Miss Kate was twelve shades of purple.
And that is how it all began.
During break, Miss Kate used to run out and smoke these little strawberry bidi cigarettes and she often came back late. One morning our professor was out visiting one of the satellite sites but our camera was still pointed toward the podium. During the break, before Miss Kate got back, Sylow and I turned the camera so that it was pointed and zoomed on Miss Kate's chair. When she finally sat down, she looked up at the screen and saw her own, bigger than life, sneakin' herself into class late, ass. Sylow and I were in tears. Miss Kate was twelve shades of purple.
And that is how it all began.
posted by sparklestone at 8:20 PM
16 Comments:
I can't believe I had forgotten about that. I'm glad it's in writing now. I do remember Miss Kate wasn't too happy with us.
How is it that we were sober enough to figure out the controls so early on a saturday morning? We had only been in class an hour and a half before the break.
That's HYSTERICAL!
I'll have to remember that if i'm ever in a satellite class.
Are those common?
Now, boys, help me remember: was that before or after I started inviting you both over to my place so I could feed you and fill you full of wine? In any case, I can see that I am the one at fault for making you both such SPOILED BRATS.
Sylow, you raise a great point about your levels of sobriety. I'm not sure how either of you pulled that off either.
Sheesh.
Sparkle, I just re-read your story and I'll point out some phrasing that you'll want to correct.
You wrote: When she finally sat down, she looked up at the screen and saw her own, bigger than life, sneakin' herself into class late, ass.
Now, that sentence implies that my ass is bigger than life and that it was what I saw on the screen. Is that really what you meant to say, Love?
Es ist super fantasic! Miss Kate seems very obliging considering all the hyjinks.
This is a very funny story -- poor Miss Kate...I hope you're done playing tricks on her, Sylow and Sparky...
And this wonderful woman fed you and plied you with liquor too? I mean served you big balloon glasses filled with vintage wines....
You should have been placing your coats over puddles for her --so her dainty feet wouldn't get wet! Where is chivalry????
If you can't find it I'll take Chivas Regal...
Sylow, good question. Any recollection of who actually did the camera work? I think it probably took us the entire break to get it figured out.
Giggles, I don't know much about what's goin' on in the world of compressed video these days. Anybody?
HEAR YE! HEAR YE! LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THERE IS NOTHING BIG ABOUT MISS KATE'S ASS!! HER ASS IS SMALL, TAUT AND FIRM! DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!
pg, if I had a nickel for every eyeroll/ headshake Miss Kate has done in response to me and/or Sylow, I would have a shitload of nickels
I think I hadn’t quite gained my status as ringleader of all of the bad elements. Of course, we all know that I was merely a front man, like Junior Soprano. I do remember fussing with the camera controls. They reminded me of the remote to PPV digital cable, not that I know how to order PPV porn or anything. The camera redirect was Sparky’s idea, I suspect. My creativity drops off right before the hangover sets in, but I can still follow orders pretty well.
I won’t deny that Miss Kate did indeed keep us well fed and thoroughly liquored up for the missing 18 months that I apparently spent in Louisiana. I do know however, that chivalry was never in short supply.
I recall the hottest day of the decade when we had to help Miss Kate move. I even went so far as to only bring a six pack of “baby beers” (six ounce bottles) to insure I’d be able to unload the truck as well as get [it] loaded.
Me and Sparklestone, we know all about sacrifice.
and don't forget the time I carried her out of that mexican restaraunt on cinqo de mayo.
OK boys, you're right that you paid for your games... Sylow, you helped me move TWICE -- once from that tiny apt. in BR to a only slightly less tiny apt (that second apt. became the biggest party pad ever!) and you loaded the trailer and tied some fancy knots when I moved from BR. So yeah, OK, all that food and booze paid off.
And Sparkle, what can I say, you've earned your keep. And good save on the ass comment, Baby.
TWICE?!! Holy crap, I did lose some time there. I must have re-assesed the baby beer theory by the second go around. Although, them knots are starting to come back to me, I think.
I must have been the last one to leave BR. I'm sure those few days by myself mark the beginning of my drinking alone phase... What? That wasn't the beginning?
Sylow,
Don't know if it was the beginning or not. But perhaps when you perfected it.
Sylow you must've been the last to leave BR. Does anyone remember helping Sylow move?
Miss Kate fed all of us. I would've subsisted on Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs & Pop-Tarts cereal if it hadn't been for Miss Kate. She was also very accomodating for my dietary constraints..
Crackmama,
I left pretty early on account of starting a job right after graduation...which I think was the point of that whole degree. Unlike some people who missed graduation completely because she was on Eurovacation.
As for your your 'dietary constraints', I mark it up as part of my education because, while I had heard of picky eaters before, I never really met one till I saw you in action.
Crackhead, it was fun feeding you b/c you were always my co-hostess with the mostess! We had some fun, didn't we?
Graduation=BO-ring. Island hopping in Greece=FUN. Sylow, can you break down those mathematical equations?
Miss Kate, we threw some awesome parties! And the best thing about those parties was that we kept Sparky & Sylow out of trouble. Who knows what kind of devilment they would've gotten into sans our supervision. Think we could throw a cyber party online?
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