now god's gettin' in on the act
thistleboy may have a caffeine problem ... time to take a long look in the mirror, my friend,
a recent comment
I bought some fresh roasted coffee the other day at a grocery store. The coffee came from a local place that I had never been to in a little town on a quaint downtown street. I had time at lunch today and drove over to a bike shop, looked around a bit and then walked to the coffee place. On the walk I could smell coffee roasting and I was salivating. When I got there, the place was in the process of burning to the ground.
posted by sparklestone at 12:36 PM
11 Comments:
That's, like, one coffee place! Dude there are lotsa other places to get coffee. If God didn't want you to have coffee there wouldn't be a Starbucks on every corner. Just like if God didn't want me to have Lik-m-aid they wouldn't sell it at every gas station....
God told me He didn't want you to have lik-m-aids. He doesn't want ANYONE to have them. He left in His Message in a secret code:
Dextrose , Maltodextrin , Corn Syrup Solids , Citric Acid Less Than 2% , Magnesium Stearate Less Than 2% , Artificial Flavors Less Than 2% , Blue 1 Less Than 2% , Blue 1 Lake Less Than 2% , Blue 2 Less Than 2% , Blue 2 Lake Less Than 2% , Red 40 Less Than 2% , Red 40 Lake Less Than 2% , Yellow 5 Less Than 2% , Yellow 5 Lake Less Than 2% , Yellow 6 Less Than 2% , Yellow 6 Lake Less Than 2%.
If you meditate on The Message you will learn The Way.
Yellow 5 is awesome in a well-done egg burrito....Maybe if you put some magnesium stearate on bananas you'd like them better.
God told me to tell you to go jump in a Blue 2 Lake....
Wait a minute, is that all god said? Like, how do you know he's saying you should avoid that specific cocktail? Maybe he's given you the sevret to eternal life.
There was more to go with that message, but it involved very complicated math.
I worked on it for several weeks and was left with a gematria-like message based on the language of Ugaritic. It read: Thou shall not eat lik-m-aid as thou wouldst a pomegranate. Lo, it shall be as an abomination unto you.
Let's think back to our recent conversations on this blog about faith. You are starting to believe. Listen to the message and go back to Chai... at least some of the time.
Wait! Have I said I am unhappy with my current coffee intake? My very first post was about how True Love set me on the road toward coffee addiction, and I continue merrily, nay, ECSTATICALLY, down that road.
Love me for the addict that I am.
(ps, i drank some chai not so long ago and i was flabbergasted that i ever drank that christmas cookie tastin' stuff)
You just have something against christmas. You probably hate Santa Claus too.
Sylow, you are just fishing in a pond of hate. I ain't a-bitin'.
So, you admit that you maintain a pool of hate in which I unknowningly cast my fishing lure?
1 Starbucks down, 9,999 to go!
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