mcd memory #1

When I worked at McDonald's, there was a dog named Buttons who was a drivethru regular. His lady would pull up to the speaker and Buttons would bark. We would hear it back in the grill area, and immediately start cooking what we called a Buttons Burger...a plain burger on a bun. His lady always emphasised that there couldn't be anything on it at all. Since it was a special order, if anyone came behind them, they would get parked and we would have to run it out to them when it was done. When you brought the burger out and started to hand it through their window, Buttons would try to attack you. Attack in a very spoiled, get his own burger, small, annoying dog, snarly kinda way. Everyone hated Buttons. I remember guys cooking Buttons' burger for the entire 2 minutes and 15 seconds underneath a three inch pile of salt and then scraping it all off before throwing it on the bun. Nobody liked that dog.

There was a Japanese Jehovah's Witness who worked with us. He was working there before I started and was still there after I quit. He was our attempted moral conscience. He tried to prevent all sorts of deviations from Standard Policy, including the horrendous things which befell Buttons' burger. He had run the order out to the car many times and was always met with the same snarl and yet never expressed any dislike toward that nasty creature. And then our Jehovah's Witness got bit. No one had ever been actually bit before. All those burgers didn't help Buttons' speed and agility and the window was never opened very wide.

Our manager drove him to the hospital and I think he got a couple of stitches. That particular burger was cooked in the juice that was skimmed out of the pickle bucket. Our conscience still spoke of Standard Policy afterwards, perhaps with more zeal than before even...but it wasn't to be. Back in the storeroom that evening, a group of the regular grillmen, night crew of course, officially swore off of all policy.